I apologize for not getting back sooner. Had a busy week.

I hope who all saw the DHH movie Sweet Nothing In My Ear enjoyed it.

It was especially nice seeing Jeff Daniels. I hadn’t seen him for a while. I could tell he was really into his acting role as a hearing husband to deaf actress Marlee Matlin.

The movie was about the pros and cons having a cochlear implant done for their deaf child.

It was also about two parents conflicting with each other. I won’t give away the ending, but I want to offer an observation here about this movie.

In real life, Matlin is married to a hearing man, who is a law enforcement officer. I believe she has several children, and hails from northern Illinois, like I do. I’d be interested in meeting her someday.  She’s from the Arlington Heights/Des Plaines/Morton Grove area, while I’m from the Elmhurst, IL area.

She and Daniels make a big deal (in their roles) how much they love each other and how much the marriage means to each other.

I don’t want to sound negative, but in real DHH+Hearing marriages, that’s rather a myth.

It’s a dark, well-known fact in the DHH world, a marriage between a Deaf and a Hearing is very likely to end in divorce. I have seen statistics thrown around that it could be as high as 90%.

I know of a few DHH+Hearing marriages that have survived to this day, but that is extremely rare. And I am happy for them. Let me stress here, that I would never stand in the way of a Hearing wanting to marry a DHH person. I just want anyone interested in doing such a thing, to be aware of the high divorce rate. And to understand what you’re getting into.

And of those successful DHH/Hearing marriages that I know of, the hearing spouses usually (in private) complain to me how difficult it is living with a DHH spouse.

The marriage tends to be better if the hearing spouse has a strong connection to the DHH culture, such as possibly having a deaf mother, or works as an interpreter or something similar.

I know for myself, I could never be married to a hearing man, unless he had extreme exposure to the DHH world. I’m very happy with my HoH husband, who had deaf parents.

I just don’t want viewers to come away with the idea that it’s exciting, easy and fun for a hearing person to marry a DHH person. 

All a prospective hearing spouse has to do is learn sign language, and all is well and hunky-dory after that.

Sorry, no. There’s a lot more to that.

The DHH culture is fascinating and takes time to learn it, and to respect it. Many hearing people could care less about it, so when a hearing person marries a DHH person who’s been steeped in DHH culture, there can be problems.

Hope we see more of Matlin and Shoshannah Stern (who had a minor role in the movie) in the future.